Crazy Successful!

If you haven’t yet seen the hit movie Crazy Rich Asians, what are you waiting for??

A surprise box office smash when it first came out in August, it’s still playing in theaters. The Huffington Post reports that it is currently the highest-grossing romantic comedy in ten years: almost $166 million as of this weekend, Sept. 29-30.

There’s much to like about it: good acting (many were unfamiliar to me, but I’m definitely a long-time fan of veteran Michelle Yeoh), clean humor (not raunchy or juvenile), an exotic location (Singapore), beautiful people, good music (performed by Asian musicians in Chinese), great production value (loved the social media scene in the beginning). Yes, yes, it’s an all Asian cast, and much has been made about this in the media. But the story will appeal to most film lovers in our global community. This is movie entertainment at its best.

For those like me with an Asian background, we so appreciate seeing the Chinese (people and culture) honestly represented and contemporary characters who look like us. Watching this movie was an emotional experience. I teared up several times, both in laughter and happiness, mostly happiness that “I am seen,” not invisible like so often happens to many marginalized people.

cr-asians.jpgMost Asians are far from being crazy rich for sure. And this is a good reminder to non-Asians that Asians come from diverse backgrounds. Still, there are some cultural touches in the film that ring true for many Asians, like Rachel’s mother providing food in Tupperware for their international flight (food is family) and the deference to elders, especially the cool relationship between daughter-in-law and mother-in law. Also, how Asian Americans are considered different from Asian Asians. The food scenes are also emblematic of Asian cultures, so the film offers lots of “eye candy” for foodies.

Based on Kevin Kwan‘s novel, which is back on best-seller lists and on my to-read list, the movie is in the genre of rom-com with Rachel Chu, an Asian American economics professor, going to meet her boyfriend’s family in Singapore. Little does she know that Nick’s family is crazy rich and live like royalty. It’s a setup for conflict on several levels.

Lots of discussions and reviews are available online. One of my favorites is in The Atlantic featuring the reactions and comments of four female staff members. This movie has sparked much discussion because it marks a cultural moment, not just in Hollywood and pop culture, but also in our larger American culture. We’ve seen best-sellers by and about people of color for many years now, why did Hollywood take so long to produce another movie with a cast of mostly Asian actors? Where have they been? Hopefully they now get that movies with non-white leading actors and casts (the only white actors were the hotel employees in the opening scene and some in crowd scenes at the bachelor’s party) can be successful. Crazy successful!

Even when cultural details are not fully explained, audiences can enjoy and understand the film because this is a very human story. Those with Asian backgrounds will have more visceral appreciation for many scenes, but this doesn’t take anything away from non-Asians.

For me, the best line of this movie (and perhaps any movie) is when Astrid tells her cheating husband, “My job is not to make you feel like a man.”

Wow! For any woman to say this, but especially for an Asian woman, this is seismic!

So, this is another reason this movie was so powerful for me. Although the main characters are undeniably Rachel and Nick, female relationships are very central to the story. Friendships as well as competitive meanness. Power struggles between Nick’s mother (Eleanor Young) and grandmother and between Rachel and Mrs. Young. And the mother-daughter relationship between Rachel and her mom. As in life, women’s stories are important.

I kept waiting for Nick’s dad to show up. Never happens. Instead of patriarchal power, we have one that is matriarchal. The best scene is the mahjongg game between Rachel and Mrs. Young when Rachel tells Nick’s mother why she is leaving and that she understands the importance of family. She is not defeated and demonstrates she is just as powerful and strong as the older woman. For an Asian story and stories in general, I am cheering for strong female characters.

The female gaze is also apparent in the film. Most movies focus on the male gaze, but here we have men’s bodies (those abs!) on display for the delight of the women in the movie and in the audience.

I love this film! Thank you, author Kevin Kwan and director Jon M. Chu and kudos to all the wonderful actors and crew. I’m looking forward to the sequels and more films featuring talented and beautiful people of color.

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Women’s Stories Now

When author Stieg Larsson introduced readers in 2005 to Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, I was mesmerized by this gritty, fearless, whip-smart character. I believed then as now that women experienced vicarious pleasure when Lisbeth took revenge on those who tortured and raped her, when she outsmarted everyone who tried to limit and control her. Whether they had been sexually harassed or assaulted themselves, women identified with her; Lisbeth became a cult hero and the Millennium Series became a global phenomenon.

The women speaking out against sexual predators may not be Lisbeth, but they are surely courageous in revealing their stories, their vulnerabilities, and trauma. Many of these men are powerful and wealthy. They have been successful in their fields, while these women have carried their shame and pain for many years, maybe decades. Their lives have been unequivocally altered. They have suffered in innumerable ways: emotionally, financially, etc. And yet, they are stepping into the public spotlight to tell their stories.

Because the few have become the many, more women are coming forward. And I suspect more will come because in this cultural moment, they are being heard. Believed. Instead of being dismissed, ignored, demonized. Both men and women are recognizing how some workplaces have been toxic for women and the pervasiveness of these attitudes that devalue women. The conversations include both men’s and women’s voices because these horrendous behaviors affect all of us.

Thanks to New York Times reporters Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohy who broke the story about Harvey Weinstein on October 5, 2017. Remember their names! These women’s investigative reporting began a cultural revolution. So many voices could no longer be silent and broke through the dam created by power and privilege.

#MeToo is just one example.

Now Marti Noxon has created Dietland, a new TV series on AMC that taps into women’s stories, our complex lives, and the things/events that impact us. It’s based on Sarai Walker‘s novel and had been in development for two years, before sexual harassment and assault became part of our national dialogue. In an article for The Atlantic about Noxon, Sophie Gilbert describes the book:

…[A] guerrilla group of women kidnaps and murders men who’ve been accused of crimes against women, ranging from institutionalized misogyny to violent sexual assault. But that’s just the subplot. The rest of the novel deals with toxic beauty standards, the weight-loss industry, a magazine called Daisy Chain, rape culture, feminist infighting, and the coming of age of a lonely, 300-pound writer named Plum.

So, I was gobsmacked to see frequent commercials during the breaks for an online discount designer fashion site. Hello?? Yes, this show probably gets a huge female audience, but is anyone at the ad agency following the show’s themes?

Noxon is a writer, producer, and director of TV and film. She has worked on shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Grey’s Anatomy, and Mad Men. In Dietland, women are channeling their rage to fight back at men and institutions that diminish and harm women. That’s not easy. The guerrilla group is called the Jennifers, and they have announced a list of men they are targeting called “The Penis 100.” 

Not sure who is on this list in this work of fiction, but unfortunately, we women can come up with plenty of names for such a list. Forget the border wall, we need a Wall of Shame for these names. 

If you have enjoyed The Handmaid’s Tale TV series, but have felt despair about how the government has oppressed and controlled the women and children of Gilead, Dietland may feel like an antidote. But don’t be fooled. Patriarchy and misogyny are still rampant in this series. The feel-good message offers women intelligent enough to fight back and send messages that they are not buying into the marketplace standards and values of what women should be and look like. These issues are systemic and not simple to fix, but meanwhile the show offers women revenge fantasies. 

Yes, we all should feel despair that safety and equality for women is far from a reality, but we shouldn’t feel hopeless. Nor powerless. The stories are coming. We need to pay attention, listen, support, and honor the storytellers whoever they are, wherever they are. The more that women tell their stories, the more power we garner to dismantle the status quo of toxic masculinity that prey on women and children. All the cultural warriors, both fictional and living, are inspiring us to fight back, speak up, and cry out for justice.

Stand By Me

Just want to affirm the love expressed in this blog posting by Ann Hedreen in “therestlessnest.” With so much negativity, violence, and hate in our world, the royal wedding was a good reminder on the power of love. I also feel confident that Meghan is already a change agent in the royal family and look forward to seeing how her personality and perspectives will shake things up. The wedding ceremony certainly was not all white–a reflection of the real world that contributed animation and beauty to the widely-viewed, very formal wedding ceremony.

therestlessnest

_101664541_053e2d0f-a05b-4c6e-bb13-349acf2c705dOn May 19, 2019, I did something I have never done before: I watched an entire royal wedding. Not live: better than live! In an act of pure selfless devotion, my husband remembered that I had said something about “recording the wedding” and actually set the TV to record it before we went to bed. He himself could not be less interested. But he knew I was.

After grieving my way through the morning papers—school shooting in Texas, misery in Gaza and Venezuela, tension brewing again in Korea—I was more than ready for the diversion of a royal pageant. Coffee in one hand and remote in the other, I fast-forwarded through the three hours of buildup and blather until, at last, I got to the main course: Meghan Markle getting out of the Rolls Royce at St. George’s Chapel. Time to get this fancy shindig started.

When Charles and Diana…

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Celebration

In 2017 I didn’t feel like having a birthday. I just wanted to ignore it. I was feeling downhearted about getting my memoir published after submitting my manuscript to book contests and sending query letters to various indie presses and university presses for a few years.

Being a semi-finalist and finalist for a few contests was encouraging. I also received a lovely rejection letter from an editor who explained their process for selecting books, indicating the enthusiasm of those who advocated for my book. However, these were still rejections.

This year, I decided to attend a few writing conferences that featured literary agents while continuing my previous strategy. I was willing to keep going and try some new tactics. I also decided that no matter what, Celebration would be my theme for 2018. And birthday celebrations were in order for March! That’s what I did with a lot of help from my friends.

On the last Friday in March, I was on my laptop at home when I received a message from Willow Books Literary Awards. I felt faint and quickly forwarded it to my writing group: Trish, Ann, and Esther. “Omigod! Tell me if I’m dreaming or hallucinating!”

I needed confirmation because, even though I consider myself a careful reader, I have read and misinterpreted messages in the past. They emailed me back quickly: “BIG congratulations on winning the Grand Prize in prose!”

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I had won their book contest in prose, including works of fiction and nonfiction!! The prize included publication by Aquarius Press!! Then I started crying. It had been such a long road since I started submitting my manuscript in 2014. There were times when I felt hopeless and wanted to give up. Most writers have experienced similar dark moments. My writing group can attest to my moments of despair. They would boost my spirits and urge me to continue. Other writers would remind me that rejection was normal for writers; this was part of the job and I just had to keep going.

In fact, I had pinned Jesmyn Ward‘s PBS interview on the wall above my desk earlier in the year. I highlighted her words: “Persist. Read, write, and improve.” This is what her teachers and mentors had told her, so she was passing on their wisdom. This award-winning author also advised:

“Accept rejection until you find acceptance, but don’t become disheartened, stop writing, and remove yourself from the conversation.”

No, I hadn’t stopped. My voice is important and I want to be part of the conversation. And now my book The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir will be on bookshelves in Spring 2019. Yes, all my years of work have not been for nothing. My words will be out  there in the world–it’s beyond exciting!

I was still pinching myself even after the official announcement was posted on the Willow Books Literary Awards web site. I still feel a bit like I’m “The Twilight Zone,” but in a positive way. As we enter the fifth month of 2018, I am full of gratitude and anticipate more celebrations still to come!

 

 

 

March!

March is a special month for me. It’s my birthday month and it marks the coming of Spring. The promise of Spring brings hope to a wintry world that warm days, new growth, and blooming flowers are ahead.

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It’s also the only month that can also be a verb, a call to action: March!

On March 3, girls are celebrated in Japan. Hinamatsuri is dedicated to the happiness and health of girls.

On March 8, we celebrate International Women’s Day.

This combination of action and women seems no accident. Women are marching! We are marching for equality. We want personal safety. We want to stop sexual harassment, domestic violence, an end to the rape culture. We want a lot and we are speaking truth to power. Women are rising and standing up!

In my writing group of four women, I mentioned how girls are not taught to say NO! STOP THAT! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! We need to rethink how we can raise girls to be both nice and tough, to be fierce and loud when necessary.

Author Barbara Kingsolver writes about empowering girls in The Guardian. In “#MeToo Isn’t Strong Enough: Now Women Need to Get Ugly,” she says:

Let’s be clear: no woman asks to live in a rape culture: we all want it over, yesterday. Mixed signals about female autonomy won’t help bring it down, and neither will asking nicely. Nothing changes until truly powerful offenders start to fall. Feminine instincts for sweetness and apology have no skin in this game. It’s really not possible to overreact to uncountable, consecutive days of being humiliated by men who say our experience isn’t real, or that we like it actually, or are cute when we’re mad. Anger has to go somewhere – if not out then inward, in a psychic thermodynamics that can turn a nation of women into pressure cookers. Watching the election of a predator-in-chief seems to have popped the lid off the can. We’ve found a voice, and now is a good time to use it, in a tone that will not be mistaken for flirtation.

March is also Women’s History Month and I can’t help but think of all the strong, loving, and supportive women in my life. Because of them, I completed my B.A. at the University of Washington and I’m a writer with a completed memoir manuscript and continuing to explore my creativity; these are goals that seemed unreal when I first arrived in Seattle in 1986 and was scrambling for a job and living space and new friends.

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So many people come and go in the course of a lifetime, but each person can touch another life in profound ways. This has been especially true for me in regard to my community of women friends and colleagues, past and present. I have been able to grow and blossom as a strong and creative woman because of them. YAY, WOMEN!

Presidential

This week marked the unveiling of the official portraits of former President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. It was wonderful timing in a month to honor African American history, to remember this historic president as the first African American U.S. president. But let me make it even more clear and more broad: Obama was the first non-white President, someone that most people of color identified with and loved.

Other historic points: Both portraits were by African American artists, the first to be given such commissions. Kehinde Wiley painted the President, and Amy Sherald depicted the First Lady. The portraits will hang in the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. (Images available on CNN link below.)

These were consequential events, an intersection of art and history, for all Americans.

CNN reported:

The former first lady said she was thinking about the impact Sherald’s work will have on “girls and girls of color.”
“They will see an image of someone who looks like them hanging on the walls of this great American institution … And I know the kind of impact that will have on their lives because I was one of those girls,” she said.

The unveiling also was a powerful reminder of the dignity and humanity that we expect in our presidents and that Barack Obama exemplifies. By selecting these

Barack_Obama_2009-10-26artists, he and Michelle were making a thoughtful statement about who we are, about our talents and gifts, about race in America.

While words are important, wise leaders know their actions speak louder than words.

Note: Netflix is featuring a 2017 interview of Obama by David Letterman. It offers an oasis of calm and wit from the current chaos in our nation’s capital. Another reminder of presidential.

 

Staying Woke: Part 2

How do you stay informed in this world of 24/7 news? We have a plethora of choices. Not all are responsible sources. Not all ascribe to serious journalism standards.

My friends’ morning routine includes going online to these websites: CNN, the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and BBC. They turn to the CNN channel for a few minutes for the latest updates. In the evening, they watch MSNBC’S The Rachel Maddow Show.

As former journalists, Deborah and Larry have identified the news sources they trust. But there are others.

I am definitely not a news geek, but I want to stay informed. It’s imperative especially in these dangerous times to stay woke. You could say it’s the duty of all good citizens to be aware and alert to what’s happening in our country and to hold our government officials accountable. Morning is my writing time, and following the news at the level of my friends would take too big a chunk out of my morning. First, I’m a slow reader and sometimes it’s not just my slowness; my Internet slows down. Secondly, I don’t have a television in my apartment. Even though I have access to one in our building’s community room, it’s not always convenient.

Nevertheless at some point in the day, I can go online to CNN, then to the Washington Post or the New York Times. I’ve been a fan of the Times, but hadn’t read the Post much. Right in our nation’s capital, the Post is geographically closer to the political scene and late-breaking scandals. Being imbedded in D.C., they provide an immediacy to their news. Of course the Times has a D.C. bureau to keep on top of the news there.

I agree with Deborah about the importance of following some foreign news sources. What do other countries think about our President and American events? I like The Guardian and watch CBC and BBC from time to time, but not daily. That’s the best that I can do.

Other television news I watch occasionally include PBS News Hour.  60 Minutes is a television news magazine on CBS and also very informative. On the radio, I listen to NPR. And I subscribe to The Atlantic for its well-written articles on topics important to me.

More than ever it’s important to support good journalism and subscribe to news magazines, newspapers, and other news sources you trust.

Larry is biased toward newspapers, but he makes a good point. He says, “Papers are one of the best sources of coherent, calmly displayed information about what is happening….The strength of newspapers is in detail, and learning that detail makes us all smarter and better citizens.”

According to Walter Cronkite, “Journalism is what we need to make democracy work.”

I would add that we process information differently when reading compared to watching something. Reading has always been a thoughtful process for me. Sometimes I need to re-read. Sometimes I need to stop and think about what I just read. Sometimes I need to follow up an article by reading another source to confirm or dispute the original story. Reading develops critical thinking, a quality that is frankly crucial in today’s world.

Besides I’m old school. I like holding a physical newspaper or magazine or book. It provides a more sensory experience than reading a screen. I like flipping the pages, sometimes back and forth, and maybe underlining something. Since I can’t afford to subscribe to everything, the library is a great resource for newspapers and magazines. Reading online is a different experience for me and I admit to getting screen fatigue even though or especially since so much is available at my fingertips.

However, reading online news cannot be avoided. Another online news source I read is Matt from WTF Just Happened Today?, which is exactly how I frequently feel since last November. This site compiles the day’s headlines from various national news sources that cover the latest chaos in the White House.

Generations growing up with the Internet will likely disagree, but quality of news or information makes a difference, not quantity. Having infinite choices 24/7 is not necessarily a good thing.

And this bears repeating: Facebook is not a news source.