Life on Hold

At the end of 2019 I looked back on the previous months and was happy and grateful for the publication of my memoir, the generous support of my friends during this milestone event, and the subsequent book events in Seattle, Portland, New York City, the Bronx, Santa Barbara, Kahului (Maui), and Honolulu.

I also looked forward to 2020 and the possibility of connecting to more readers at upcoming book events. The New Year appeared welcoming, and the Lunar New Year in late January offered a refresh button if needed.

No one will never forget this Year of the Rat aka the Year of the Pandemic.

2008 Oaxaca, Mexico: amazing arts & crafts. These are radishes!

 

The Year of the Rat is the beginning of a new 12-year cycle in the Chinese astrological calendar. The last Year of the Rat was 2008, which brought the Bush Great  Recession. I couldn’t help recalling this time and wondered what 2020 would bring even though I had no reason to feel anything but optimistic. In 2007 I had achieved my financial goals and quit my job at the end of the year to take 2008 as a gap year between jobs, a sort of “sabbatical,” to travel to Mexico, Ecuador, Hawaii, and China, then return to Seattle to do

2008 Summer Palace, China

a job search in the fall. I traveled as planned and returned to a life-changing financial crisis; I remained unemployed, took early Social Security, and launched into a completely new draft of my memoir. Not at all what I had expected.

How quickly our lives can change.

The first case of COVID-19 was identified here in the Seattle area in late January, the first death in February. In mid-March, we were sheltering in place. Waves of anxiety have taken over my life as my activities became more restricted to contain the virus. For weeks I couldn’t focus to write anything. I haven’t posted anything here for months. I have been home alone for eleven weeks now and sorely miss my friends and socializing with them. 

I am lucky to continue my tutoring job online, but it has been exhausting and difficult with various technical issues to contend with. Many have lost their jobs and the uncertainty of what will happen with this pandemic and with the economy is creating daily stress, perhaps much more than some realize.

Some days are okay, some not so much. Isolation blues, you know. 

Last year I was out in the world promoting my book. I have to wonder if I had not had time to write a new manuscript in 2008, would I have had a book published in 2019 and become an author? So, as difficult as 2008 was, it gave me time to write a new manuscript.

It’s Week 12 of staying at home. These days, when I leave my apartment to go shopping or get take out, it’s almost an event. Without knowing it, in 2019 I was gathering a reservoir of aloha and good will to get me through this extremely difficult time. 

And who knows? As horrible as things are now, perhaps we’ll all be able to look back someday and see the blessings that resulted from this time.

Getting Published: A Few Notes

Surprised. I mistakenly thought that only writers or others in literary circles could appreciate how mind-blowing it is to have someone publish your words, the toil of many years, sometimes decades. Many friends and readers, many I didn’t know personally, have been almost as excited as I was. 

Incredible odds. People don’t need to know the statistics of how many good writers there are vying for publication, how many new MFAs are getting their degrees in poetry, fiction, and nonfiction every year, how many more men are getting published than women. All of this is true. People get it. Getting a book published can be compared to lightning striking.

VIDA. However, if you want some numbers, check out this web site: VIDA: Women in Literary Arts. We Count. It’s a nonprofit that has been tracking forty literary journals and other reputable magazines since 2010. The annual VIDA Count documents gender disparities in publishing. Their numbers represent what is happening in the larger publishing world. 

Write a book? Never. Never. Uh-uh. Committing to write a book didn’t play in my imagination. When I became a writer, I wrote short pieces. I could visualize vignettes, personal essays and poetry. Never a book.

Lightbulb. However, I started writing and something happened. I realized that my stories were not just about me. The voices of local people born and living in Hawai’i were few and far between. These voices are important in the story of America, that is, the United States of America. Millions of people have some connection to these islands. And yet, our stories are not known, not told. Stories and diverse voices are essential in understanding ourselves, our country, our world. My consciousness of the importance of literature expanded in the creative process. 

Kūlia. Persevere. I kept writing. I completed a manuscript. I started to submit it in 2014 to various book contests and wrote query letters to various publishers. Moments of deep discouragement halted my momentum from time to time, but I kept revising and submitting my manuscript over the years until Willow Books contacted me in March 2018: I had won their book contest! Finally, a publisher! My book The Lava Never Sleeps would be in bookstores out in the world. It is available as a paperback and an e-book.

Fronds of fragrant yellow ginger grace the book table for my Santa Barbara reading.

No matter the odds, perseverance can make all the difference. Luck is good. So is talent. However, those who persevere through rejection after rejection, through disappointment and despondency (believe me, I know it’s tough!), are more likely to achieve their goals, i.e. getting published! 

 

Photo Gallery/ References to My Memoir

Dear Readers,

If you have read my book The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir, you may find these photos provide visual references to the narrative.

While my father’s Chinatown store closed in the 1970s, the building remains and is now occupied by the very popular restaurant The Pig & the Lady and The Pacific Gateway Center. Hint: Reservations are highly recommended.

We had a most delicious lunch there! Even though the interior and entry have been completely remodeled, the original brick walls remain. I couldn’t help feeling nostalgia for all the times I had spent between those walls. See p. 29 for a description of Yuen Chong Co.

My dear friend Liz Aulsebrook joined me and Carol for lunch there. I’ve known Liz since the 1980s and she was one of my beta readers when I finished the very first draft of the memoir.

She recently retired, so we celebrated my book and her retirement!!

Dream cake! I described this lovely cake on p. 22. This is the cake display at Liliha Bakery at Macy’s in the Ala Moana Center. I really wanted a piece, but they only sell whole cakes.

The original bakery is located near my childhood neighborhood. This new location at the shopping center recently opened, a happy surprise!

My alma mater St. Andrew’s Priory in Honolulu continues its educational mission as established by Queen Emma. I am pleased that the school continues under strong leadership that ensures a curriculum that includes Hawaiian culture and prepares its girls for all career options. I refer to Priory on pages 66 and 161.

 

Class of 1967! Here is my graduation photo with my parents.

I describe the ancient voyaging canoes that brought the first people to Hawai’i; see p. 164. Reproduced in recent times to travel throughout the Pacific, this is a model on display at the Bishop Museum. The museum also displays an ancient paddle which indicate the ancestors of the Polynesians were from SE Asia; see p. 156.

Another dear friend, Lilette Subedi reviewed my manuscript to ensure my cultural references were appropriate. She also provided the ancient canoe chant and translation on p. 167. I have recited this chant at most of my readings to invoke the culture, reinforce the journey implied in my story, and emphasize the value of community.

At my Honolulu reading at Na Mea Hawai’i/ Native Books, she chanted a beautiful oli to welcome everyone and added a naughty Chinese ditty that I had never heard.

Finally, my travel buddy on my September trip to Maui and Honolulu was Carol Cummins, a long-time friend who was one of the original members of the Seattle women’s group I joined in 1988 (p. 110). This was her first trip to the islands, and she met my friends, classmates, and family, who welcomed her with genuine aloha spirit. I was happy to share an insider’s view of my beloved islands with her.

What a memorable trip for both of us!

 

Remembering a Beloved Author

Toni Morrison (1931 – 2019)

She made me think about our country’s dark history of slavery, the American identity tied to these atrocities and other acts of emotional and physical abuse against nonwhite Americans, and the legacy of these events. She made me think hard and deeply. Her words pierced my body, compelling me to comprehend the pain of those oppressed.

I don’t remember where I first heard about the novel Beloved, but I tried to read it twice and had to put it down. Morrison’s words were incomprehensible, full of such power and generational pain I was not accustomed to at the time.

In 1993, I was a working adult determined to complete my B.A. at the University of Washington, Bothell. I elected to take an Independent Study course on Black American Literature. Reading The Bluest Eye introduced me to Morrison’s literary ethos and gave me a context for appreciating and completing Beloved.

Here’s an excerpt from a response paper to Beloved for that class:

Can any form of violence, even one based on a mother’s love, be a real solution? In this novel, Sethe chooses one form of violence (death) over another (slavery) and ends up with another form of violence that harmed all the people she loved (Baby Suggs and her children) with alienation, fear, and mistrust. And yet, given the history of violence that is synonymous with slavery, which was the context for her decision, did Sethe really have any other choice? Furthermore, what does this history of violence against blacks say about America and present-day problems that black Americans confront?

Reading Morrison is often challenging. She asks readers important questions, some they’d rather not think about or might not have ever considered before. She requires critical thinking beyond her characters and stories, often pushing readers into uncomfortable places, forcing their minds and hearts to open in new ways.

Reading and re-reading her words are often necessary to appreciate the complexity of her characters and the unfolding story.

Morrison writes about black lives that hold true for many people of all colors. She appeals to our humanity while revealing our inhumanity to each other. Her truth-telling often promotes discomfort, yet it’s a necessary discomfort that can result in transformation. She gives us darkness so that we can recognize the light.

I, like so many, have been changed and blessed by Morrison and her fearless commitment to the truth about our violent history, women’s lives, and issues of equality that still haunt us.

In a Washington Post article (August 9, 2019), Michelle Obama says:

For me and for so many others, Toni Morrison was that first crack in the levee — the one who freed the truth about black lives, sending it rushing out into the world. She showed us the beauty in being our full selves, the necessity of embracing our complications and contradictions.

Here’s a link to an interview of Morrison with Pam Houston from Oprah.com: “Precious Moments a Writer Lives For.”

Note: Thank you to artist Nina Krebs for giving me permission to post this portrait–a painting/collage with book titles on Morrison’s blouse and excerpts from pages of her books haloed in the background.

On the Shelf

Someone wants to publish your manuscript. Hooray! Break out the champagne and confetti! It’s every writer’s dream. The book is tangible proof of all your hard work. It’s a BIG moment!

As the publication date approaches, the worry begins. Will people buy the book? Will they like it?

The author does her best setting up book events and readings, asking for book reviews, using social media. She taps into her networks and informs her various communities about her book being published.

My communities include North Seattle College where I tutor, various writing groups (Hedgebrook, my personal writing group called The Cake Quartet, It’s About Time Reading Series, Jack Straw Writers Program, other writers I’ve met at various conferences), the ta’i chi group at Lake Forest Park, residents in my apartment building, my mahjongg group. I was surprised when I listed these various groups and began reaching out to inform them about my book. They were excited for me and eager to support my book.

I printed out promotional postcards and informational flyers and distributed them. I also gave them to friends to give to their friends.

So far, I’ve promoted my book in Portland, Seattle, and New York. I recently did a reading at Elliott Bay Book Co. here in Seattle. This historic bookstore is a literary icon, so I was very pleased to schedule this event!

Authors can do a lot.

However, there’s also a lot that’s out of their control. For example, placement of books on book shelves is up to the book store.

The more visible the book is, the better the odds for book sales. Because I did an event at Elliot Bay, they placed my book on the shelf for their book events.  The top shelf is pretty nice placement! (I’m aware that this will change as more current events occur, but I can say I was on the top shelf at Elliott Bay, even if only for a short time!)

At Third Place Books, Lake Forest Park, I’ve been on their bestsellers shelf since early June, at least that’s when one of my friends spotted it and informed me. I am

the store’s #5 bestselling book! Very cool for a debut book and non-professional in marketing. I guess networking works!

Here’s something else I do. I prepare for each book event with the intention to give my best reading. I hope to bring a piece of Hawai’i into the room, to interest the audience enough so they buy a book or two. Maybe for gifts.

I want bookstores to sell books, especially my book!

I arrive early so I can personalize the podium. Since I like colors, I bring a few things from home. A colorful cloth that evokes the tropics or a brightly feathered hula implement. When the audience walks in the room, they will immediately get a personal glimpse of who I am when they look at the front of the room.

Testing the mic and getting a sense of the room are also important tasks to ensure my comfort.

Bookstores and booksellers are an author’s friends. It’s important to have good relationships with them. I send thank you cards after each reading and let them know I appreciate what they do, that they’ve made the time to promote my book. After all, we are partners in this book business.

My book is now available as e-books in all formats. It’s wonderful to offer these options to readers.However, I’m sorry I cannot sign e-books.

It’s at book events, whether at stores, schools, libraries, or private homes, where I get to meet my readers. It’s very moving, both humbling and exhilarating, to see the faces of readers who have spent time with and money for my book, especially when they have connected with some part of my story.

 

 

 

 

 

Being an Author

Being an author requires marketing and promoting your book. It’s another side of myself I am getting to know. I am still not completely comfortable with this New Self, who’s always focused on her book, but so far she is behaving herself and not being totally obnoxious!

It feels like the cells of my body are rearranging themselves to accommodate this New Self. My old self did not feel comfortable in the spotlight, but would gladly support others to take the center of attention.

At AWP in March, I was handing out my publicity postcards to people I’d just met at the Portland Convention Center, leaving them on information tables, and so on. I had to make self-promotion part of my daily life.

Portland Reading

I first went public as an author of The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir at Passages Bookshop in Portland to a SRO crowd in late March. The reading featured several Willow Books authors at an off-site event during the conference.

Having printed lots of postcards to help promote my memoir, I unabashedly distributed them. The book cover is visually attractive and I hoped it would get people’s attention and generate interest in the book.

I was nervous about Seattle book launch scheduled for Third Place Books, Lake Forest Park on May 2. Since May is Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month, I wanted to connect my book to this national cultural observation. It seemed to make sense even though API Heritage Month is not hugely recognized.

I wasn’t sure who would actually show up although I was talking to people in all my various communities. And, yes, handing out postcards.

I planned and rehearsed my reading.

I made arrangements to serve island-style snacks like taro chips, mocha crunch, coconut candy, and butter mochi cake. Hawai’i people love their snacks! My friends helped me with the shopping and displaying/arranging the snacks for the reading with table cloths, ti leaves, plumeria blossoms.

As more and more people arrived, additional chairs had to be added to the original 40 already set up.

It felt overwhelming: So many people wanted to support me and my book. Longtime friends, my mahjongg sisters, colleagues at North Seattle College, people in my tai chi group, my neighbors in the apartment building where I live, and of course my writing friends.

Writing friends in Santa Barbara and Atlanta sent a bouquet of flowers. My Seattle friends surprised me with several lei, which touched me very much. 

Very humbled and grateful for the SRO crowd standing in the aisles between bookshelves, I began the reading with an ancient canoe chant. I felt the aloha in the room during my reading and later as I signed books.

A friend came over from Pt. Townsend. Other

Showing the book cover and a ti leaf. My mother used many of these to make the ti-leaf skirt shown on the cover.

friends came from the Eastside whom I had not seen in decades. It was a wonderful evening of surprises! I could not have wished for a better book launch and celebration for my book.

A definite celebration because people understand how dang hard it is to get published by any traditional press. It can take years, which it did for me.

Here’s the thing. There are no guarantees when you’re a writer. You can only keep writing, keep learning your craft, keep submitting, ride the emotional roller-coaster, and just keep going. Persevere is the mantra if a writer wants to become an author. Or as they say in Hawaiian: Kulia!

 

 

Writing Communities

Writers need people. We need community. Or as they say, “It takes a village.”

Truly.

In this Thanksgiving Season, as publication date of my book gets closer, I reflect on my journey as a writer and the many people who have contributed to my development as a reader and a writer. Many have inspired me, nurtured me, taught me, challenged me. They may be family, friends, readers, other writers. Writers must carve out time to write in solitude, but we cannot thrive without community.

My mother was a reader and took her children to the Honolulu Public Library. I fell in love with words and stories. Reading was addictive and I borrowed as many books as I could. The freedom to explore all the books in the library fed my curiosity. As a result, I love libraries and librarians are my heroes.

Raising a child is one thing. Raising a reader who chooses to be a creative writer is quite another. 

I am grateful to the many writers I’ve met and the writing events I’ve participated in over the past  twenty years. These are only a few. However, every event has contributed to my growth as a writer. And has led me to publishing my first book The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir.

With many thanks to Willow Books and Aquarius Press, publication date is March 1, 2019!!

Meeting other writers and learning from each other can be exciting. It can bring unexpected rewards.

Writing groups have been essential to my growth. I am not the most disciplined writer, so our meetings have served as catalysts for writing, compelling me to produce something to share in our meetings. I learn so much from the other writers as we read and discuss their writing, as well as when they provide feedback on my pieces. 

One important lesson I learned is that while I hold the story I’m writing in my head, all the details in my head may not always get transmitted to the page; I need to read and reread my work carefully to ensure that the reader has what’s necessary to follow what’s happening. Writing groups have given me valuable feedback on what’s working and not working.

Someone in a writing group told me about the Port Townsend Writers Conference and I decided to apply. I dived in and took my first creative nonfiction workshop from Bill McKibben and Sue Halpern in 1997. This was my first foray into writing workshops and a very positive one. I felt validated to be accepted into this group of writers.

A decade later, Cristina Garcia took over as artistic director for this conference, and diversity flowered, both in faculty and students. Instead of being the only writer of color, I witnessed a conference peopled by many cultures, many colors and did workshops with Chris Abani and Denise Chavez. Too many conferences are too white. For any writer, especially an emerging writer of color, having other writers of color in the room, not only validates their voices, but also their dreams as writers. Garcia later moved on to organize Las Dos Brujas Writers Conference in New Mexico, then in San Francisco. 

Another writer informed me about  Hedgebrook, a writing retreat for women writers on Whidbey Island. In 2000, I was very much a beginner, but decided to complete the application even though I expected to be rejected. I thought it would be good practice, that I could apply again. I really had not intended to write a book, but during the application process, I began to envision the possibility of a book. I was surprised and thrilled to be given a residency in 2001. During my three weeks at Hedgebrook, I began to organize my writing into a manuscript with the title Once Upon An Island. 

Hedgebrook took me seriously as a writer. Even though I had no publishing credits and had no completed pieces, they treated me with extraordinary respect and appreciation. This was life-changing for someone full of self-doubt. I began to feel like an authentic writer.

Hedgebrook opened up a whole universe for me. I did my first public reading of my writing at a Hedgebrook-sponsored event. On my list of writing workshops and conferences, I can draw a straight line from Hedgebrook or Hedgebrook alumnae to half of these events. I also found alumna Priscilla Long to edit my memoir, and she encouraged me to submit it to university and independent presses. The alumnae network has been a surprise bonus, an active force and a gift that keeps on giving.

One example is the VONA Writers Conference (Voices of our Nation Arts Foundation), which HB alumna/author Donna Miscolta recommended. I took a Creative Nonfiction and Memoir Workshop in 2007 from Elmaz Abinader and Faith Adiele; all the writers and instructors were people of color, the first conference where I experienced this kind of support and where I didn’t have to explain myself.

In 2008 I decided to set aside my original manuscript because it wasn’t working, and I wasn’t sure how to fix it. I began a new memoir from scratch. When Hedgebrook began offering master classes, I heard about a Master Memoir Class with Faith Adiele, and I knew I had to go. This was in 2010.

Faith asked me an important question. I workshopped a piece about sexual abuse and used only the initial of my abuser: “Mr. K.” Faith asked me an important question: “Are you still being silenced by not naming him?” I realized I had a choice and decided to provide his full last name in the manuscript.

I also met Janice and Connie here. We decided we wanted to continue to meet and support each other’s writing. We lived in three different cities–me in Seattle, Connie in Atlanta, and Janice in Santa Barbara. We met virtually on Skype once a month for 2-3 years. In addition, my Seattle writing group was meeting every other week. 

Two years later in 2012, I completed a first draft of my memoir The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir.

In 2013 I attended a CNF Writing Conference in Oxford, MS. I attended a workshop led by Dinty Moore. HB alumna/author Allison Green had recommended it. Lee Gutkind was the  keynote speaker. Vanity Fair acknowledges Gutkind as “the Godfather behind CNF.” Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild had been published to wide acclaim in 2012, and Gutkind discussed the opening first page of her book, how it hooked the reader. I had completed my first draft at this point and decided to draft a similar first page.

I am fortunate to live in Seattle where there are so many literary events and opportunities to grow as a writer. Another writing community I want to mention is the Jack Straw Writers Program, which focuses on getting work out in the world through a series of readings, assisting writers in using their voices and a microphone, preparing for public readings. Thanks to another HB alumna Felicia Gonzalez, who invited me to apply for the 2014 program, I was able to participate in an amazing experiential learning opportunity and be part of another enriching writing community.

From writing bits of vignettes to completing a full-length book, I know I could not have progressed as a writer without my various writing communities, including It’s About Time, the monthly reading series at the Ballard Library founded by Esther Altshul Helfgott and currently directed by Peggy Sturdivant. We learn just by hearing the words of other writers. We learn as we present our own words. I often revise when I have to read my writing out loud.

My current writing group is Cake Quartet, a mixed genre group that includes Esther Altshul Helfgott, Ann B. Hursey, and Trish Honig. I have dabbled in poetry in the past, but consider myself to be a prose writer. My writing group has provided essential support in my creative life. And poets Esther and Ann have introduced me to more poetry like the Haibun, which combines prose and haiku and opens me up to new creative possibilities. 

This is what I love about creative communities, you never know where they will lead. It can lead to honing craft, to breakthroughs in writing, to publication or reading opportunities, to new forms of writing….  To a writer with the expertise to create a chapbook (Ann) or to bake a cake from scratch (Trish)!

I give thanks for my writing life and my writing communities!

Celebration

In 2017 I didn’t feel like having a birthday. I just wanted to ignore it. I was feeling downhearted about getting my memoir published after submitting my manuscript to book contests and sending query letters to various indie presses and university presses for a few years.

Being a semi-finalist and finalist for a few contests was encouraging. I also received a lovely rejection letter from an editor who explained their process for selecting books, indicating the enthusiasm of those who advocated for my book. However, these were still rejections.

This year, I decided to attend a few writing conferences that featured literary agents while continuing my previous strategy. I was willing to keep going and try some new tactics. I also decided that no matter what, Celebration would be my theme for 2018. And birthday celebrations were in order for March! That’s what I did with a lot of help from my friends.

On the last Friday in March, I was on my laptop at home when I received a message from Willow Books Literary Awards. I felt faint and quickly forwarded it to my writing group: Trish, Ann, and Esther. “Omigod! Tell me if I’m dreaming or hallucinating!”

I needed confirmation because, even though I consider myself a careful reader, I have read and misinterpreted messages in the past. They emailed me back quickly: “BIG congratulations on winning the Grand Prize in prose!”

I had won their book contest in prose, including works of fiction and nonfiction!! The prize included publication by Aquarius Press!! Then I started crying. It had been such a long road since I started submitting my manuscript in 2014. There were times when I felt hopeless and wanted to give up. Most writers have experienced similar dark moments. My writing group can attest to my moments of despair. They would boost my spirits and urge me to continue. Other writers would remind me that rejection was normal for writers; this was part of the job and I just had to keep going.

In fact, I had pinned Jesmyn Ward‘s PBS interview on the wall above my desk earlier in the year. I highlighted her words: “Persist. Read, write, and improve.” This is what her teachers and mentors had told her, so she was passing on their wisdom. This award-winning author also advised:

“Accept rejection until you find acceptance, but don’t become disheartened, stop writing, and remove yourself from the conversation.”

No, I hadn’t stopped. My voice is important and I want to be part of the conversation. And now my book The Lava Never Sleeps: A Honolulu Memoir will be on bookshelves in Spring 2019. Yes, all my years of work have not been for nothing. My words will be out  there in the world–it’s beyond exciting!

I was still pinching myself even after the official announcement was posted on the Willow Books Literary Awards web site. I still feel a bit like I’m “The Twilight Zone,” but in a positive way. As we enter the fifth month of 2018, I am full of gratitude and anticipate more celebrations still to come!

 

 

 

March!

March is a special month for me. It’s my birthday month and it marks the coming of Spring. The promise of Spring brings hope to a wintry world that warm days, new growth, and blooming flowers are ahead.

It’s also the only month that can also be a verb, a call to action: March!

On March 3, girls are celebrated in Japan. Hinamatsuri is dedicated to the happiness and health of girls.

On March 8, we celebrate International Women’s Day.

This combination of action and women seems no accident. Women are marching! We are marching for equality. We want personal safety. We want to stop sexual harassment, domestic violence, an end to the rape culture. We want a lot and we are speaking truth to power. Women are rising and standing up!

In my writing group of four women, I mentioned how girls are not taught to say NO! STOP THAT! GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! We need to rethink how we can raise girls to be both nice and tough, to be fierce and loud when necessary.

Author Barbara Kingsolver writes about empowering girls in The Guardian. In “#MeToo Isn’t Strong Enough: Now Women Need to Get Ugly,” she says:

Let’s be clear: no woman asks to live in a rape culture: we all want it over, yesterday. Mixed signals about female autonomy won’t help bring it down, and neither will asking nicely. Nothing changes until truly powerful offenders start to fall. Feminine instincts for sweetness and apology have no skin in this game. It’s really not possible to overreact to uncountable, consecutive days of being humiliated by men who say our experience isn’t real, or that we like it actually, or are cute when we’re mad. Anger has to go somewhere – if not out then inward, in a psychic thermodynamics that can turn a nation of women into pressure cookers. Watching the election of a predator-in-chief seems to have popped the lid off the can. We’ve found a voice, and now is a good time to use it, in a tone that will not be mistaken for flirtation.

March is also Women’s History Month and I can’t help but think of all the strong, loving, and supportive women in my life. Because of them, I completed my B.A. at the University of Washington and I’m a writer with a completed memoir manuscript and continuing to explore my creativity; these are goals that seemed unreal when I first arrived in Seattle in 1986 and was scrambling for a job and living space and new friends.

So many people come and go in the course of a lifetime, but each person can touch another life in profound ways. This has been especially true for me in regard to my community of women friends and colleagues, past and present. I have been able to grow and blossom as a strong and creative woman because of them. YAY, WOMEN!

Cake Quartet

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Over cupcakes at a March meeting in 2017, our writing group of four decided to call ourselves the Cake Quartet.

 

We rotate hosting our meetings and feed the group. Not only desserts and snacks, but thoughtful and respectful feedback on writing, whether prose or poetry. The meetings are times of nurturing our art.

 

We value one another as women, writers, and friends: Ann Hursey, Esther Helfgott, Trish McKenny Honig.

 

We are the Cake Quartet because cakes invoke celebrations. And we celebrate each other!

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Here’s another lovely thing about cake. It’s easier than writing!

I could not remember if I had ever baked a cake from scratch, but Trish is an experienced baker for her lucky family. We arranged a baking day for a recipe she found: Southern Coconut Cake. She had all the basic ingredients, pans, and other equipment while I brought the specialized ingredients like shredded coconut, coconut flavoring, whipped cream, and so on.

In a few hours, we were done. I felt I had accomplished something. It was fun and I had a finished product that I knew my friends and I would enjoy! Too bad if they don’t like coconut.

It was a divine 2-layer cake with 2 kinds of frosting. Voilà!

YUM!

3

Writing is definitely not a piece of cake. It’s a much, much longer process. Often a learn-as-you-go endeavor.

Frustration and disappointment can be constant companions along the road. Getting my book published has certainly had its ups and downs. Not sure what to do next, but I will keep doing the next thing, then the next thing and keep going. Pick up my heavy heart and keep going, while self-publishing lurks in the back of my mind.

I can commiserate with my writing group. Borrow their wisdom and strength.

And when necessary, I can bake a cake and celebrate my foolish dreams or my persistence. Maybe both.

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Please note: The Cake Quartet will be reading at “It’s About Time” at the Ballard Library on Thursday, October 12 at 6 pm. Come and join us! Who knows? We might even serve cake!